Many years ago, while nursing in a coronary care unit, I had a patient who ran a kosher deli. Each day, his family would arrive with a heaping tray of pastrami and corned beef, the best deli treats I’d ever had. At first, I was uncomfortable with the family’s gifts; I was just doing my job. Eventually, though, I recognized both the family’s sincerity and the hurt I was inflicting by not accepting their gift. Their look of happiness when I did accept has always stayed with me.
Another time, at a busy mall, a middle-aged man approached me from a mass of shoppers and squinted intently at me. He seemed familiar, but I couldn’t place him. Then his squint evolved into elation. He waved his wife over, pointed at me and said in a possessive tone that I was his nurse. He spoke of being admitted to the coronary care unit, wondering if he would survive. After I wheeled him on a stretcher and transferred him into bed, I told him, “You got yourself in here. We’re going to get you out.” He said that he knew then he was in good hands. Yet once more I was embarrassed by the attention for merely doing my job. There was an awkward silence, and looking back, I realize I stifled his desire to give thanks.
This is a common experience for many nurses. Perhaps we take what we do for granted and find it difficult to accept our patients’ gratitude. Yet the older I get, the more I understand how important it is not just to accept their appreciation, but to use it as a way to build on the things we do well, just as constructive criticism is a way to correct our deficiencies. These situations are, in fact, opportunities to deepen our connections and grow as nurses – to speak with our patients and former patients about just how meaningful their gratitude can be.
And when the gratitude comes in the form of donations to our education, it is extraordinarily meaningful and valuable. After all, data show that better-educated nurses lead to better clinical outcomes – and schools of nursing are the only way to produce the teachers and leaders that assure quality nursing education across the country.
Now is an especially important time to support nursing education. The impending nursing shortage will be hard to address because we don’t have enough doctorally prepared teachers. The debt many who might seek such preparation will incur is a significant disincentive – and the means to get help with costs are shrinking. Government support has declined. Hospitals and clinics have tighter budgets, so they find it harder to support their nurses’ continuing education.
Thus, rather than shuffle uncomfortably when we are offered thanks, now is the time to encourage our grateful patients to support nursing education, so we can produce the next generation of highly skilled nurses, leaders and educators. That type of gratitude delivers huge returns for patients, families and society.